09 April 2006

Some Sunday Scattershooting

It's me -- Mr. Gleck in the conservatory with the keyboard. This time I offer some random hairballs of thought which I've hacked up:

1) Why is it that a 6-volt "lantern" battery -- much LARGER than two or three 1.5-volt "C" or "D" cells -- doesn't last for diddly in a flashlight??!! Geez, I can get more light out of one running on two "AA" cells!

2) Last night Seraphim and I watched Must Love Dogs on DVD. We saw it last Summer in the theater, and I thought it to be a most entertaining, funny and sweet movie. Even funnier the second time around. But it still makes me thankful I didn't have to go through a bunch of bad post-divorce dates before finding Seraphim.

3) This time that movie produced another thought: Sarah's father, explaining to her daughter why he was juggling three young women at once, said "I've already had the love of my life", referring to Sarah's deceased mother. I can't express how much that statement haunted me. Seraphim is the much-fabled Love Of My Life. Her presence in my life has set such a high-water mark on my soul that nobody else could conceivably match it. In other words: I completely identified with what that man said.

4) This morning I saw a commercial for a "vocal coach" computer program. Using the included ''deluxe headset/mic', the software more or less teaches you how to sing. Dazzle 'em at the karaoke bar. Mesmerize 'em from the choir loft. Blow their minds clear to Orangeburg with your mastery of "contemporary christian" soundtrack tapes. Wow. Now people like me who can more easily carry a Coke machine than a tune can, with practice, initiative and three easy payments of only $33.33 a month, be able to sing as well as Nettiemac.

5) Every time I think about people who sing terribly, four folks come to mind. Not William Hung and the three girls who call themselves The Shaggs. This is worse. These four guys make the aforementioned sound as harmonious as The Beach Boys ... or at least Crosby, Stills, Nash, Young, Or Any Combination Thereof. I'm talking about The Landmines. They made their first and only appearance in the 1981 movie Up The Academy.

6) One of the smartest things I've done in the last six months is to opt for the "product protection" when I bought my MP3 player last December at Best Buy. Guess what? After acting strangely for a time, it finally wacked out. White screen, no graphics, no sound, no nothing. I thought BLUE was the "screen of death." Well, I returned it and - after going through a crazy rigamarole - will receive a compleat refund (in the form of a Best Buy gift card) "within "7 business days."

7) If you're shopping for an MP3 player, may I NOT suggest the Philips GoGear. Go for the Creative Zen, which is something I plan on doing when I get the Best Buy card.

8) Bright side: at least the player made it to and from Arkansas without incident.

9) I think I might get a Walkman instead. Wonder how many gigs those'll hold......

10) The manual keeps referring to something called "cassettes." What's a cassette?

11) The weather is wonderful today. I think we're going to go out to Hilton Head for the afternoon and bask in the nice upper-60s weather. Yeah.

12) Puddy turns 11 today. Happy Birthday, my Sweetie Girl!

Ciao for niao!

--Talmadge "Got My Bathin' Suit And My Flip Flops Ready" Gleck

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