22 June 2006

It's Music Merger Mania!

Inspired by our local JACK-FM station having spent at least 30 minutes this afternoon playing two songs at the same time. JACK FM. PLAYING WHAT WE WANT. HOWEVER WE WANT. AS MANY AS WE WANT.

Seraphim alerted me to their glitch this afternoon, and told me about this neat song they were playing, "You Make My Rocks of Ages Dream Come True" by Oates & Hall & Lef Deppard.

Which triggered a response reminding my sweet wifely one about the other songs in O&H&LD's discography:
"Your Love Bites Are On My List"
"Did It in a Minute (And I Have a Photograph To Prove It)"
"Armageddon It From A Rich Girl"
"Bring On The Heartbreak, She's Gone"
"M-E-T-H-O-D O-F Pouring S-U-G-A-R On I-T!"

Oh yeah, and the immortal #1 smash "Animaleater"!

It led me to wonder what would happen if music groups began following our corporations and started merging. I mean, fewer artists would result in a more efficient way to deliver streamlined music to the hungry masses, trained to like nothing but the same top 10 hits over and over from the same three corporate radio groups, and 29-year-old Leno-hairs from American Idol who already are whoring themselves out to corporate shilling. It would mean fewer royalty checks for the big labels to have to dole out. Which will free up financial resources for further pursuing lawsuits against eight-year-old Limewire jockeys.

Following in O&H&LD's success are a fivesome we know as Crosby, Stills, Nash, Simon and Garfunkel ... sometimes made into a sextet when Neil Young's in town.
"Suite: Cecelia Blue Eyes"
"Mrs. Robinson (Teach Your Children Well)"
"Just a Song Before I Southern Cross the Bridge Over Troubled Water on the Marrakesh Express, Wasted On The Way to My Little Town" (ahem)

I think I'd better, uhhhh, "Carry On" before people realize I'm only "Fakin' It"...

How about a musical marriage of our now-divorced Swedish quartet ABBA ... paired with Aussie musical mirth makers AC/DC. We'll call it: ABBA-C-D-C

"Take a Chance and Have a Drink On Me"
"Does Your Mother Know You Shook Me All Night Long"
"For Those About To Rock, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do, I Do Salute You"
"Dancing Queen's Deeds Done Dirt Cheap"
"Waterloo Made Who"
"The Winner Takes All the TNT"

Or, perhaps, the ultimate merger - pairing the greatest hard rock band of all time with the greatest musical ensemble of all time. Meet The Beatzeps!
"I Wanna Hold Your Lemon"
"Martha, My Dear Black Dog"
"Can't Buy Me a Whole Lotta Love"
"The Fool On the Hill In the Rain"
"The Long And Winding Stairway To Heaven"
"Livin' Lovin' Maid (She's A Woman)"
"A Hard Day's Night Flight"
"Boogie With Sgt. Pepper"
"All You Need Is Custard Pie"
"In My Yellow Submarine Down By the Seaside"
"With A Little Help From My Dazed and Confused Friends"
"Trampled Strawberry Fields Under Foot"
and "Hey Hey, Jude (What Can I Do)"

Don't hate me, Birdman..........

Want to add more? Have any more ideas? I'm ready.

You say Goodbye, and I Say Ciao for niao.

--Talmadge "Rock 'n' Roll Genetic Engineer" Gleck

2 comments:

Seraphim9 said...

I've created a monster.....why do I do these things?????

-Seraphim "Glutton for Punishment" Gleck

Talmadge G. said...

Why? Because you love me, that's why.

>:-D

-TG