22 December 2006

"TIME Fliiiiiiiiies.....

....and you are therrrrrrrre / TIME criiiiiiiies, and lets you carrrrrre"

Remember that uber-lamo commercial for Time Magazine back in the '80s? Unfortunately, I do.

I've never been that big a fan of Time. I'm more of a Newsweek guy myself, with occasional diversions to U.S. News and World Report when the mood hits (although Michael Barone's column usually raises my diastolic and systolic a few notches). I don't know why, but I've just never gotten into Time. Now if it's an Alan Parsons or Pink Floyd song ... or an ELO album, I'll take it. But I'd sooner opt for Boy George's coronary chronograph than pick up an issue of Time.

However, this month I just might have a change of heart. Because, you see, Time Magazine has named Talmadge Q. Gleck as Person of the Year.

What have I done to deserve such an honor? Well, lessee .... I maintain a blog. I love my wife. My dog. My son. (Not necessarily in that order. DOWN, Puddy! I didn't mean it!) By driving a hybrid vehicle, I'm doing my part to help the environment. I pay all of our bills on time. I don't steal any hubcaps or road signs ('tho if I find an old color-coded Florida route shield next time I'm down there, you can strike that last one). I've never seen the inside of a jail. I've never smoked a cigarette, never bogarted a joint, and I've never willingly had a Pepsi as an adult.

Either Time has finally woken up and smelled the Yuban and realized just what a remarkable contribution to society Talmadge Gleck has made ...... or has been bought out by The National Enquirer.

But wait a minute. Seraphim Gleck is Person of the Year, too. So is Nettiemac. Bolivar. Kate/Susan. Okay, that's fine. I'm not so egotistical that I must hog the limelight (or would that be Time-light?) all to myself. I can share a stage. Phew, that's a lot of people to cram onto a magazine cover.

Wait ... there's more! Tiger Gleck, my erstwhile going-on-15 son, is also POTY. How about our four-legged daughter? We think Puddy is a person, too. I wonder if Time would agree.

Seems that we ALL are People of the Year. Yes, even Michael Jackson.

Gawd, what a crock. I'm stickin' to Newsweek and their arrows up/down Conventional Wisdom watch.

TALMADGE GLECK. Old CW: Blogger.com must have a lot of space to waste. God help the Blogosphere. New CW: At least he didn't blow a fellow hunter's face off.

Ciao for niao.

--Talmadge "Does anybody still have one of those stooopid football phones?" Gleck

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