16 April 2007

Oleomargarine

(in the words of my late friend Steve F.)

1) GOOD BUSINESSFOLK: More tales of wonderful Rincon customer service ... the rental place where we "hired" (as they say in Australia) the tiller for Seraphim's garden -- initially for half a day, but then called 'em back when we realized that Seraphim's Garden Rome was not about to be tilled in a day -- did NOT charge us extra for the time through this morning. We had Sunday as a 'free' day to begin with, since they were closed, however we paid only the half-day rate. Can you say "guarantee future business"? Yup, when we need any more equipment to rent, they'll be our choice.

It's so nice to know there are still businesses around who want to build long-term relationships and goodwill. It's not all about the short-term, people.

2) DIPPING INTO SERAPHIM'S TILL: I'm sore. I'm sure my wife is, too. Seraphim's grand plan is to start a backyard garden. We tilled out about 100-ish square feet of our lawn toward this end. I learned that garden tillers are nowhere near as easy to operate as they look. But we got it done, and I'm looking at the bright side: that's less lawn for me to mow!! Yippee!! I'm now going to shave, ohhhhh, a full minute - if that much - off the time it takes to lower our yard's ears. Woo hoo.

3) KROGER KASHEWS, KLEAN OUT: The Kroger store nearby where I work has been out of dry-roasted cashews for more than two weeks now. There's space on the shelf, and an item tag, but no cashews. My friend Bolivar, a Kroger manager, wouldn't tolerate such dereliction ... would you, Bol?

4) HELLO, IMUS BE GOING: Don Imus is nothing but a crusty old disc jockey. A crusty old jock who said something outrageously distasteful and should've had several new ones ripped by his CBS bosses in the carpeted office, made to apologize personally to the Rutgers team, and then the matter dropped. Maybe a suspension on top of it.

But come on - did he really deserve to be fired?? IMUS?? Good gawd, he's harmless. Certainly not the clear and present danger to the advancement of African-Americans that bigots like Jesse "I Love Hymies" Jackson and Al "Kiss My Ring, Cracka!" Sharpton claim.

Okay, "Reverends" Jesse and Alvin, you've got Imus' head mounted on your wall. Happy now? And how are race relations better off for the fact?

The fact is, your average 50 Cent rap song contains far more insults of the same variety than crusty old Imus did. 50c = many songs. Imus = one sentence.

Kate/Susan's "drive-by" post sums it up very well with three questions her FIL asked.

5) FROM ONE HO TO ANOTHER: Don Ho is headed for an eternal nappy.

6) TAKE MY JOKE, PLEASE: I know. That was bad. Deal with it.

7) PARTING GIFT: Ciao for niao.

--Talmadge "Tiny Bubbles in my brain" Gleck

1 comment:

Kate/Susan said...

I'm not sure why, but I'm still sitting here laughing my tail off at "Kiss my ring, Cracka!"

Such a way with words.

And the Don Ho line is classic. Great joke.