"Calling all parents! Calling all kids! Here's your chance to buy a Davey Crockett Bed!! It's a twin size bed, just right for the kids, with scenes of Davy Crockett in action on the mattress."
--1950s radio commercial
About this time ten years ago (would this qualify as "XYAT #5-1/2"?), I dropped about 500 bucks of money which I barely had in order to buy a new queen-sized mattress set.
That mattress has taken me -- and Seraphim, and Puddy -- to the present day. A decade's worth of sleeping has taken the normal toll on her, and her springs are dun sprung out. She's sagging in more places than an 80-year-old woman's .... ummmm, errrrr .... the mattress is old. Needs replacing.
For the last year or two we've discussed getting a king-sized bed. Enough room for two people who don't exactly have the dimensions of Calista Flockhart. And enough room that Puddy can stretch out. And, sometimes, nudge herself between us.
We began shopping in earnest this week, starting locally with Farmer's Furniture and Badcock. Farmer's prices were middling, but they wanted $69.00 just to deliver .... yes, even if the house is less than a mile away. Badcock's wanted only $59.00 for delivery, but their prices were highway robbery. And both wanted another $50 or so for the bed frame.
I again quote the great philosopher and my old college friend Lance: "F(BLEEP)k that sh(BLEEP)t."
Yesterday we swung by a local chain called Mattress Depot. Very unpretentious hole in the wall of a strip on the Southside. Nothing but mattresses. This place offered free delivery up to 35 miles (Rincon is 33 miles away, heh heh), and the bed frame came with it. The price was good, too -- a Simmons Beautyrest king-sized mattress set for about $200 less than what Farmer's Furniture wanted for a similar Sealy. Plush, but no pillowtop.
We got approved for six months same as cash, and they're gonna deliver it tomorrow. We'll get to sleep in Sunday morning on our new bed.
Ahhhh, but was the expenditurin' over with? Hell, no. Queen-sized sheets don't exactly fit onto a king mattress, so we had to go shopping for a new comforter, new sheets, new pillows and a new mattress pad. Headboard? Not enough money to go that far. But that's optional, and can wait another year or more.
$ $ $ $ $ $ $ $ $
Sam's had a good deal on a set of two (2) king-sized pillows. $15.99. Check.
But Sambo's only had the "satin"-like sheet sets, and Seraphim vetoed that. So, across Pooler Parkway to Wal-Mart we went. We found a "bed-in-a-bag" for $79.00 -- the comforter looks nice, at least from the outside of the bag. Let's hope it isn't as cheap as the price. The sheets in there are 250-thread count. Meh .... that may become our 'extra' set for now. We'll wash 'em and then see how they feel.
Mattress pad at Wal-Mart. $34.99. Check.
King-sized sheet set. $54.99 for a 330-thread-count. A bit cheaper than the 400 count, but it didn't feel any rougher. We're not the snobs my brother and his wife are, but we don't like sleeping on sandpaper, either. I remember the scrambling we did trying to find the "right" kind of sheet set for their wedding gift back in '99 .... I think my SIL's skin breaks out in hives if there's so much as a thread below 600.
Total price for accessories on top of a $799.00 Simmons Beautyrest "Hanson Bay Plush" king-sized mattress? Just a hair under 200, with tax.
Grand total for this whole change in sleeping? About $1,050. Thank gawd for Christmas money and using other peoples' money to bridge us 'till then.
The feeling we'll have when my wife and I can move around without pissing off the dog? Priceless.
Meanwhile, just one more night on this old bessie of a queen-sized mattress.
Ciao for niao.
--Talmadge "King me." Gleck
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