28 August 2008

Red Cross = Redeemed Conduct

This afternoon I made another attempt at a pulmonary donation. My wife tried the same at the blood drive today on Armstrong Atlantic's campus. Unfortunately, she was turned away due to being a few notches low in her blood iron. That's what she gets for not taking her Geritol.

Geritol. Every day. And now, here's Myron Floren with a medley of dixieland hits, while Guy and Ralna do the lambada......

ANYway, the Red Cross had a Bloodmobile parked in front of the Walgreen's here in town, and I paid 'em a visit after getting my ears lowered (seriously, it doesn't take too long to cut what's left of my hair; Miz Jenn is competing with God, and Jenn is losing fast).

Talk about an about-face in attitudes. Everything the last experience was, this one wasn't. These people not only were professional in their conduct, but they showed signs of humanity. They had .... senses of humor on display!

The woman who did the "torturing and puncturing" was named Ernestine, and she was funny as she asked the questions .... if you've ever tried to give blood, you know the questions they're required to ask. She rolled her eyes as she asked some, I rolled my eyes as I answered, both of us quietly knowing there's no deviating from the routine. It's a far cry from "YOU STILL GOTTA READ THE BOOK, YA PUNK!!!!" (And yes, I read the book. Fully expecting to answer questions on the SRA booklet after reading, too. Maybe I'll make it from gold to the aqua unit, at last......)

My blood iron level checked out just fine, and I was sent to the first open bed. There was just one person ahead of me; within 20 minutes, though, there were at least half a dozen people in the queue. Good timing on my part.

The guy who jockeyed the needle knew his stuff. I have to say, I did not feel that sucker going in. I filled the bag in about 15 minutes, got up and went to get my treats. Only one option: Tropicana Orange/Pineapple drink. Ecch. Even if I found it to my liking, it has sugar in it. Dealbreaker. So I just had the animal crackers (I'm a kid at heart; oh, and that was 3 points), and stepped off the bus. It wasn't but a mile back to the house, anyway, and I could have a nice, crisp, refreshing Diet 7-UP.

This was a positive experience. It's what Red Cross should be like, especially for the nervous first-timers. And I'll be forwarding notes of my positive experiences to the Blood Services division. Good conduct should be reported with just as much verve as the bad.

Okay, here's something I'd like to pose to the boiled-peanut gallery. On the Mayo Clinic website, one of the "benefits" of giving blood is 650 calories burned. Ummmm, just HOW? You aren't "burning" them so much as perhaps you expend 650 cals as your body works to replace that pint of blood you just gave up. And that's typically a five-day process.

I suppose that would mean roughly 12-13 extra points one could conceivably consume without any negative weight results during a week one gives blood.

But another angle to this is I read somewhere that one pint of blood contains 650 calories in transit around the body, so when that hits the Red Cross bag, you're down 12-13 points, meaning you could - again, conceivably - put away a "free" Quarter Pounder.

What do you think?

Oh, and I dropped a pound just by giving. Whoopie. Should've done that YESTERDAY, before weigh-in.... ;-)

In closing, why does my left arm look like a shriveled banana .... oh, all right, I've already used that worn gag. Never mind.

Ciao for niao.

--Talmadge "Bright Green Bandage" Gleck

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