01 December 2008

MG5F Privacy Policy

Time for the optionally mandated Privacy Policy applicable to all friends and visitors:

Welcome to Five Flavors of Reflection, a blog which allows one to read whatever verbal sputum is splattered forth by Mr. Talmadge Gleck (the "Borderline Retard"). The blog, comments and various thoughts therein (collectively, the "Worthless Crap") are operated by Talmadge Q. Gleck Creative Productions and its corporate affiliates (collectively, "Baptist Liquor Store Enterprises, Phone Company and Auto Salvage, Ltd.").

By accessing or using my blog (talgleck.blogspot.com) or that of Mrs. Gleck (the "Long-Suffering Wife") you (the "Pathetic Loser In Need Of A Life") signify that you have read, understand and agree to be bound by these Terms of Use ("Stupid And Pointless Rules"), whether or not you are a registered member of Blogspot (the "Suckers Who Actually Gave This Galoot A Blog") .

I reserve the right, at my sole discretion, to change, modify, add, or delete portions of these Terms of Use at any time without further notice. If I do this, you will not know about it. That's what "Taking a Wild Guess" is for. Life is full of challenges. C'mon, Cameron, live a little. I will not post any changes here. It's a big waste of time. I have better things to do than to keep up with minute modifications to Stupid And Pointless Rules.

Still, it does not relieve you of the responsibility to keep up with these secret changes.

Your continued use of the Worthless Crap after any such changes constitutes your acceptance of the new Terms of Use. If you do not agree to abide by these or any future Stupid And Pointless Rules, then frankly, there's not a whole hell of a lot I can do.

This Site is intended solely for users who are thirteen (13) months of age or older, or newlywed brides of Jerry Lee Lewis. Anyone currently in high school or college should just leave now. I'm an old fart, and language like "45 RPM single", "The Gong Show" or "Musicradio WLS" will only cause your simple mind to implode. Any registration by, use of or access to the Blog by anyone under 13 months of age, or by anyone who is a registered student of any institution of secondary or higher education (unavailable in many parts of Mississippi), is highly inappropriate and will cause moral breakdown equivalent to 1,000 consecutive playings of Dr. Hook's Greatest Hits.

ANYway, if you do not fit within the set and liquid parameters of the above, then take that jar of Gerber Apricots -- but make sure the safety cap hasn't gone 'floop', otherwise you'll get a bad case of salmonella -- and go to a site of greater substance, such as tigerbeat.com.

This Blog is void where prohibited.
It's meant for educational purposes only.
Prices slightly higher west of the Rockies.
Batteries not included.
Filmed in black light.
Cheap trinkets found in specially-marked boxes of Cap'n Quarry Sugar-Frosted Rocks, part of a good nutritious breakfast.
Relax, Refuel, Refresh.
It's got a great beat and you can dance to it, Dick, I give it a stroke.
Prizes selected from the Spiegel Catalog, Chicago 60609.
If payment has been received, please disregard this notice.
Wear your seatbelt.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
This stereo LP is not compatible with mono needles.
May cause drowsiness.
Use of Geritol might cause you to choke on Lawrence Welk's baton.
LECTRIC-SHAAAAAAAAAVE!!!!!
Portions of this blog have been mechanically reproduced.
Use a helmet.
Contents might have settled during shipment.
Do not disturb.
Maid, please service this room as soon as possible.
A Stuckey's Stop Keeps America Going.
"Hey Brian! My ALPHA-BITS are spelling 'oooooooo!!'" "Peter, those are CHEERIOS!"
Do not insert in mouth or rectum.
Learn it. Know it. Live it.
Ladies and Gentlemen, The Beat Goes On!
Best if used by "born-on" date.
Place Postage Here, the Post Office will not deliver mail without postage.
What's behind door number two?
This has been a Filmways Presentation, Dahling.
Some tracks have been re-recorded by the lead singers with one or more members of the original backing band.
Call toll-free, 1-800-257-1234, except in Nebraska. You will be billed later.
Remember to keep a song in your heart.
I'm pickin' ... and I'm a-grinnin'.
Brought to you by Johnson Products, makers of Ultra Sheen, Afro Sheen and Ultra Sheen Cosssssmetics.
If erection lasts longer than 4 hours, go look at a picture of Rosie O'Donnell, and that should take care of your "problem."
Sanitized for your protection.
Bridge may ice in cold weather.
*TONNNNG!* ...... *TONNNNG!* "Mark VII Limited"
Endorse all financial instruments.
Exercise caution in your business affairs.
Be true to your God, however you conceive Him, be it Hairy Thunder ... or Cosmic Muffin.
At participating stores.
Gunter glieben glauten globen.

Charley Weaver to block.
Total weight before cooking.
Shakey's made deal with bank: We don't cash checks, the bank doesn't make pizza.
Add $19.99 for postage and handling.
You can bet your last money it'll be a stone gas, honey.
The World's Innkeeper.
How much is that doggie in the window?
I'm a little bit country, I'm a little bit rock & roll.
Shop Woolworth's For Value.
Here's what's happening in your neck of the woods.
Extra value is what you get, when you buy Coronet.
Keep this and all medications out of the reach of my brother-in-law.
Welcome to Alabama The Beautiful.
Four out of five dentists surveyed recommend Trident sugarless gum.
The fifth dentist is handing out jawbreakers.
Have It Your Way.
You met another, and *TPFFFT!!* you were gone.
Aim your ship into tractor beam, then shoot the bug for double firepower.
If you hit Bankrupt, you lose only your cash, but not your merchandise, because once you buy a prize it's yours to keep.
Remember, only forest fires can prevent bears.
His Master's Voice.
Brush your breath ... brush your breath ... brush your breath with Dentyne!
The world continues to deteriorate .... give up!

Good night, everybody! Stay tuned for Tattletales, next over most of these CBS stations.

--Talmadge "Legal for another year" Gleck

3 comments:

Georgia Road Geek said...

What about "Keep your feet on the ground and keep reaching for the stars"? :)

Talmadge Gleck said...

...and keep your radio tuned rrright where it is!

--Talmadge Coast To Coast

nettiemac said...

You had me at "Charley Weaver to block."