15 January 2009

Dark moments in music history

Not sure where this came from, but it's funny........

September 8, 1949:
In Bavaria, Richard Strauss dies.

September 8, 1949:
In Greece, Milos Muzak is born.

August 15, 1953:
Future songwriter Jimmy Webb forgets his slice of birthday cake outside. Moments later, it begins to rain.

February 16, 1955:
After 15 minutes of sitting in a boat listening to "Go Back Home, You Obnoxious Little Foreign Brats!", humorless Disneyland execs decide to look for another composer for their new attraction.

September 17, 1955:
Young Michael Jagger gets his lips caught in a Coke bottle for several hours.

May 4, 1956:
In Toronto, Neil Young's tonsillectomy causes no damage to his larynx, thereby not robbing him of his voice.

July 23, 1956:
Colonel Tom Parker says to Elvis, "Boy, you're nothin' but skin and bones. You better put on some weight, or people are gonna think you're sick!"

June 3, 1958:
In an attempt to impress his piano teacher, young Barry Manilow changes keys in the middle of his rendition of "Heart & Soul" -- three times.

June 7, 1966:
"Hey, chaps, I'd like you to meet my new girlfriend, Yoko."

July 18, 1966:
"Let's let Ringo sing one. No harm in that, is there?"

March 30, 1968:
An alien craft leaves a baby on the doorstep of the Dion farm just outside of Montreal, Canada.

September 22, 1968:
Baffled by audiences' lack of enthusiasm about a deaf, dumb and blind shuffleboard champ, Pete Townshend heads dejectedly down to the corner pub.

August 16, 1969:
At a party for her 11th birthday, Madonna Louise Ciccone is strangely unfazed when Vinny Martello stuffs two ice cream cones down the front of her dress.

May 21, 1971:
In a meat-deprivation-fueled stupor, Paul McCartney tells Linda "Hey, Luv, why don't you play in the band?"

July 29, 1974:
"Soup or sandwich today, Ms. Cass?"

October 31, 1975:
At a costume party in Greenwich Village, a soldier, an Indian, a biker, a construction worker, a cop and a cowboy all decide, "This is too much fun to do just once a year!"

September 6, 1977:
Due to a misprint on his high school schedule, Kenny G. attends "Sax Education" class.

October 31, 1978:
Michael Jackson takes in Peter Pan on Broadway and thinks how cool it would be to look more like Sandy Duncan.

November 8, 1980:
Mark David Chapman can't quite scrounge up $50 for shooting lessons. A month later, his attempted assassination of Yoko Ono goes horribly awry.

August 12, 1986:
"Congratulations Mr. Hanson -- it's another boy!"

November 3, 1987:
Knowing how much her kids loved Star Wars, a naive Tipper Gore rushes home with a newly-bought "Luke Skywalker and 2-Live Crew" CD.

July 16, 1993:
Shaquille O'Neal skips free-throw drills to record his first rap album.

January 6, 1995:
Art Garfunkel gets three fewer hits than David Crosby on eBay when "celebrity musician sperm" is entered in the search box.

September 2, 1997:
Lou Bega finishes "Mambo #4," decides his symphony needs one more movement.



Kate/Susan said...

If I have Mambo #5 stuck in my head all day, I am holding you personally responsible. Nothing made me groan more than seeing that. Augh.

Seraphim9 said...

This is not music-related (I don't think....unless he's recorded some obscure tune that I cannot recall), but Ricardo Montalban died yesterday.

Wonder if his coffin will be lined with rich Corinthian leather????

And why do I get the feeling that I'm not the only one who thought that when they heard the news of his death???

Talmadge Gleck said...

"Fiiiiiine CORINTHIAN leather"

Oh well, at least you had comfort when the fender of your '77 Chrysler Cordoba fell off ... or stalled in the middle of that busy intersection ...

Kate/Susan: We have a joke about "Mambo #5". It goes back to when Tiger - who was notorious for holding in his natural urges until the last minute, then turning on the 10-bell "I can't wait!!" drama - did just that on the way to my brother's wedding (late '99). From there, "Mambo #1" and "Mambo #2" were born. We began singing lyrics "A little bitta bladder drain in my life....."

The kid wasn't happy. We, otoh, were amused with ourselves.

Talmadge Gleck said...

PS - the reason it was called "Corinthian leather" was because it was made of a cheap naughahyde-like veneer manufactured in a small Mississippi town.